Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Just wondering.....

It is 11:20AM in Taipei... and I am wondering what Anna is doing? could she be hugging that pink snuggle blanket that I slept with for a month? Could she be hearing the voices of her family in the US as the nanny squeezes the bear for her? Could she be sad because she is not being held right at this moment? could she be taking her afternoon nap? It is so nice to know that I finally have a daughter that I can picture in my head ~ but now that I know who she is, I have mixed feelings ~ I feel sad that she is having "firsts" without me. I feel sad that she has no idea who I am. I feel sad that someone else knows how to comfort her more than I do (atleast for now). But I also feel so grateful... I am grateful that she lives in a wonderful orphanage where the nannies really care for her. I am grateful that she has a warm place to sleep. I am grateful that she looks so healthy and full of life. I am grateful that God chose us to be her parents. My thoughts go back to what she might be doing now.... maybe wearing one of the cute outfits we sent her and snuggling happily with the pink blanket and bear and perhaps staring into the picture of the one she'll one day call "mommy" :)


Lisa said...

Oh Pam,

Know she can feel your love and that of Aaron and the boys. No matter how far away she is God is watching her and keeping her safe for you.

Elizabeth Bergeron said...

She will be in your arms soon! I know it is hard waiting and wondering. Your arms ache to hold her yet His timing is perfect. Hang in there, the clock it ticking away!