Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Still sleep-deprived and freaked out :)

I want to clarify my subject line a bit... yes, it's true I have not slept much since last Thursday when the phone rang at 1AM.... I am freaked out a bit still, but that is my mind speaking... My spirit is completely at peace, which is such a funny feeling.... on the one hand, my mind keeps going and going and going about the details of these girls....everything from how old they are to what have I missed with them.... and on and on it goes..... usually, when I allow my mind to take over, my heart starts to get sick with doubt, fear and all kinds of emotions I'm not supposed to be having.....But when I slow down, listen to God's voice, and allow Him to take over my life, it's like the piece just FIT... This adoption has really come out of nowhere and it is mind-boggling to me... I was not prepared in my heart or mind to adopt a toddler and even though I was prepared for 2, I was not prepared to adopt a child that would change the birth order of our family. Even though Michael is only 12 days younger than Sherlly, it still makes her "older"... but only if one is into details (which, I am..... maybe God wants to change that...) anyways, these are my random thoughts.... I am afraid to say it because it'll put it on "record" that this is what I believe but I really do believe God orchestrated this and these girls are meant to be ours. Part of me is afraid to feel so much faith about that "just in case it doesn't work out"... but I believe they were meant for us..... now, God will have to start doing some miracles!

1 comment:

Mark and Rebecca said...

Praying for you and the swirl of emotions that you are feeling. God does all things well.