Monday, January 22, 2007

A call at 1AM...1/19/2007

We received a call at 1AM our time on EARLY friday morning 1/19/2007 from mom & dad in Indonesia...

Barbro had talked to me about possibly looking for a baby girl for us prior to her departure and I told her that we are always willing to adopt more than one, so if God led her to the right one, we'll definitely be open.... I really did not expect to get the call since we have kinda gone down this road before 3 years ago when we initially wanted to adopt from Indonesia...

anyways, fast-forward to the call... Aaron's dad called and since Aaron was on call, I didn't even think twice about the fact that the phone was ringing at 1AM so I was basically sleeping right through it and Aaron woke me up and said that "mom wants us to call her back so she can tell us about some girls she wants us to adopt." ... When you're in the middle of sleep, even good news sounds very painful and at that point, I felt REALLY unready to listen... but he called and got me a phone too and she was trying to sound very calm and unemotinal about it all but proceeded to tell us that she spoke with Susi and asked her about us possibly adopting an infant from her orphanage and Susi told her that she has always wanted to give us "her best child" in the orphanage... and that there are 2 girls that are 3 years old that are like sisters.... we weren't quite prepared to adopt TWO from Indonesia... I somehow in my heart from the beginning of paperchasing for China, felt like we might get two children and should ask for twins... anyways, I initially thought that maybe that meant we should adopt one from Indonesia NOW and wait for our girl from China in hopefully a year or so....

I also kinda had my heart set on an infant because it just seems easier to transition as a family when the baby is as young as possible.... even in our dossier for China, we requested a baby 0-6 months so we really had been set to have a baby....

So, the phone conversation went on and she told us that the names of the girls are Shelly and Sharon.... that one of them is "100% Chinese" and the other one is Indonesian. She told me that the Chinese girl was picked up by Susi's son from a 19 year old that wanted to give her to an orphanage. I believe she was just too young and unmarried. We didn't hear much about the other one... other than they are inseparable...

She asked for us to pray about it and give them an answer by the next day. They wanted to make sure we had an interest before they talked further about them with Susi.

As we were about to hang the phone up, Aaron's dad told us that these girls have been raised by Christian caretakers and from what he knows, they are as pure in spirit as they can come.

So, we had a LOT to pray about... Aaron had a BIG day of surgeries the next day so he really needed to rest... we talked a little bit about it but my mind kept going back to "What about our daughter in China?" I had really begun to be at peace with China adoption and the timing and many ways, this could potentially end our China adoption.... Aaron said "Don't you think that the fact that ONE of the girs is fully Chinese say something?" Meaning, SHE may be the girl from China and it's not like we will be "losing" our girl from China. Still, I didn't feel total peace. WE came to the conclusion right away that under no circumstance, would it be right for us to separate these girls... so if we were going to adopt, we have to take them both. Aaron immediately felt peace to pursue this adoption and said to me "I feel like this is God and we should do it"... Ofcourse, I had to get that peace for myself from God, so I told him that I was going to go pray.... so I went in the living room and just sat there... somewhat shocked, confused, overwhelmed... and I opened my bible to Psalm 18:6... These words gave me comfort... "In my distress, I cried out to the Lord, yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary... my CRY reached His ears..." Those words gave me such comfort because suddenly all my fears were gone... My head was still not following all the details of what this could mean, but very quickly and suddenly, I realized that GOD HIMSELF HEARD me! He was not going to let us down a path that isn't HIS... because We are seeking Him... though we hear imperfectly sometimes and mixed with our own thoughts, we know that in our hearts, we ONLY want God's will and we just have to follow what we think He is saying... It was such a huge thing for Aaron to have peace FIRST... I truly believe that many of the big steps we've taken, things have gone well when Aaron & I BOTH felt peace.... and especially when Aaron felt the peace first. Can't explain it, other than God made Aaron to be the head of our house. Also, Aaron is not one to make decisions based on emotions at all (unlike me). He is very thoughtful and careful about decisions and if HE thinks that adopting TWO girls is a good idea, I KNOW that it HAS to be God...If this was just MY crazy idea, He would've dismissed the thought right away. So, even though my mind kept saying "what if...." I had to follow the peace in my heart God gave me... I felt like He wanted us to take the chance.... our pastor has been talking about "Getting out of the boat" and not playing life "safely"... I had asked God a week ago that He would give us the opportunity to stretch us and help us "get out of the boat"... and this sounds like the answer to me... it's scary, we might drown :), we won't be able to accomplish this on our own strength, and that's what it took for Peter to walk on water to Jesus...We want God to help us ... not only 'help' us, but actually DO IT for us! God, You are in charge of us... I know You will never lead us astray when we ask you for help. You will guide us because You have always been faithful...

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